robert pattinson

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I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10...

EDWARD CULLEN

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in about 5 more seconds the twilight movies are going to get a whole lot better

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Vampires don't let their friends listen to the Jonas Brothers on their iPods

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PAUL RUDD

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Dammit Kristen, get out of the way

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You're skin is so pale... Are you a vampire? No, I just play a lot of World of Warcraft.

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So... Do you think that you could introduce me to Taylor Lautner?

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You think your career stinks? So What? You're a twinkly vampire! I HAD TO POSE NUDE WITH A HORSE So people would stop calling me Potter!

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This isn't Narnia, put your shirt back on.

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Undead

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I have fangirls, smart, nerdy fangirls. Beat that Pattinson.

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A weedwhacker is not an appropirate substitute for a good haircut.

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Some jokes just write themselves

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Fine, America...

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I'm so rich... I had the dealership match the paint to my skin.