In case you thought Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's second child together was all some enormous Illuminati ruse, now some naked proof exists to the contrary.
Kim took to Instagram (as she does) Aug. 11 to post a selfie (as she does) wherein she threw her clothes aside (as she does) in hopes to squash rumors about her faking this most recent pregnancy.
In her own words:
First they say I'm too skinny so I have to be faking it...Now they say I'm too big so I have to be faking it...SMH! Some days I'm photographed before I eat & look smaller, some days I've just eaten & I look bigger. It's all a part of the process. I think you all know me well enough to know I would document the process if I got a surrogate. Everyone's body is different, every pregnancy is very different! I've learned to love my body at every stage! I'm going to get even bigger & that's beautiful too! I'm blessed to even be pregnant & even luckier to not have preeclampsia as far as I know, so I don't have the swelling issue this time! They also say your body carries a boy different than a girl! Whatever the case may be I'm grateful to God for this miracle & no matter what rumors or comments you throw my way this time they truly don't affect me! #NoFilter #NoPhotoShop #GoodLighting 😜
There's no telling whether this violates the same way-too-strict nudity guidelines that have led to the deletion of many photos and a lot of naked protests.
But hey, it happened, and we have a screen shot.
Caitlyn Jenner put her brave on and wore a women's bathing suit in public for the first time on her show I am Cait this weekend. Since Jenner has started her transition, wearing a swim suit has been something she has expressed concern about.
But as you can see, she faced this challenge along with many others on her new reality show.
In other Jenner/Kardashian news, Kris Jenner was seen with Caitlyn in public for this first time since their split. They appeared to be both getting along in a photo posted on Kim Kardashian's Instagram.
East? West? South?
These are just a few of the enlightening questions that we learn when Jimmy Fallon got a hold of a conversation taped between Shaquille O'Neal and Kim Kardashian.
If you're a forensic type person, you should probably be out solving crimes, or using your knowledge for anything other than supplying Kanye West and Kim Kardashian with a prospective picture of whatever their next baby will look like.
But that's just what Joe Mullins did, according to US Magazine.
Mullins, who carefully studied photos of Kardashian and West for the project, used modern computer technology to render the possible features of North West's little brother. The rendering imagines a little boy who has his father's nose and broader face shape, and shares his mom's rosy cheeks and large almond-shaped eyes.
Unlike West and Kardashian, the child has smoky green eyes similar in color to Kris Jenner and Khloe Kardashian.
They make it sound flattering, but it's really just a horror from hell's dollhouse.
We decided to go to one of the many online services that smashes two pictures together to see what a possible child would look like from a specific match up.
It actually didn't go much better.
So hey, at least we're all losers! Hurray!
What an unbelievable 'get' for Mrs. West. With Richter behind the helm of this timeless drama, finally the world can understand the poignancy and relevance imbued in such a noble piece of art work.
On top "a couple thousand roses" that Kim Kardashian showed off on on her Instagram feed, Kanye West also paid to have that quartet serenade the mother while she was in Brazil.
It certainly was a sweet gesture, but wouldn't it get old for every waiter to say that every single time you received something at a restaurant?
"Can I get a refill on my water?"
"This water is from Mr. West for the best mother in the world."
"Any chance we could get a refill on breadsticks?"
"These breadsticks are from Mr. West for the best mother in the world."
"What was that? I couldn't hear you over this string quartet that's uncomfortable close to my table."
"I SAID THESE BREADSTICKS ARE FROM MR. WEST FOR THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!"
If you're wondering what type of event would bring the Dramatic Duo (Kanye West & Kim Kardashian) in contact with Amy Schumer, your wondering units are in correct working order.
Not many events would feature the three and it's probably even more interesting that it was Time's 100 Most Influential People that brought everyone together.
Schumer decided to make the most out of it.
This morning, Time released its annual list of the 100 most influential people.
As usual, the list is a real mixed bag of leaders, artists and cultural titans. And, as usual, those chosen receive write ups by other leaders, artists and titans. Sometimes it's touching and sometimes it's bonkers.
Let's take a look!
TMZ reported April 8 that an inmate has taken a case to court to keep Florida rid of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.
"Wayne Albright -- who's been locked up since 2000 for attempted sexual assault -- claims Florida needs protection from the couple he calls 'Meat Whistles' and 'Moose Knuckles.'
Albright shows abject contempt for the famous duo, declaring the only tolerable Kardashian is Rob, who's 'eating himself out of house and home, no doubt from the shame he feels as a result of what Kim has done to the Kardashian name.'"
Albright seeks a temporary restraining order against the family, protecting the fragile coastal ecosystem from the terrible disruption Kayne can cause.
He wants to "ban these two Moose Knuckles from appearing on any television programs aired in the state of Florida, unless it's Court TV and they're on trial for posing as a famous couple."
Speaking to the judge, Albright said, "You have your work cut out for you ... so what do you say? Make us all proud."
In case you weren't aware that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are a couple and routinely over share that fact, Kanye unleashed another barrage of barely SFW pictures Monday on Twitter.
In a string of tweets a few minutes apart, Kanye reminded us that, yes, they are still together and, yes, Kim likes to get naked for pictures.