Breaking News - Billy Mays contracts laryngitis - millions rejoice.

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Breaking News - Audrey Hepburn just turned over in her grave... And now she's coming back from the dead to kick Paris' ass.

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No clue who she is,,, but we know what she's good at!

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With Paris on the boat I take it he's trying to catch crabs

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No. Just... NO.

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"like OMG! in 5 years we'll be total nobodys!" "totally"

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VOTED BEST PICTURE EVER OF PARIS HILTON

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I can't believe I'm still famous

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she hitted a windo... wile her botox wuz settin.

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Reason 183 to quit drinking

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I kissed a girl. I didn't like it.

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Kevin reminds the paparazzi how many brain cells he has left

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ATTENTION WHORE

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Hello Career? Where did you go?

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Rush is a star... If by star you mean a giant ball of gas.

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Bull sh*t.

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